Adults have to deal with it too

Early signs of workplace bullying may include being left out of meetings, conversations, and key decisions, withholding information, passive-aggressive behaviour, and isolation.

Loading

Sarah says that she experienced many of these.

“It started so gradually, tiny little indiscretions like backhanded compliments about work I had done or not being acknowledged at all for ideas I had suggested, even those that were used,” she says.

But over time, she says actions became more frequent and targeted.

“I was regularly and unfairly criticised for my performance in staff meetings, while other staff members weren’t. I was left off group emails that related to my work, and I was isolated from the faculty, with social interactions outside of work regularly being held without inviting me and work decisions made in my absence,” Sarah says.

Risk factors that can increase the likelihood of workplace bullying include authoritarian and laissez-faire leadership styles, says Brooks, with some industries showing a higher prevalence of the issue.

“I often see it occur more frequently in organisations that are very hierarchical like universities and in some government agencies … [and] very stressful environments like hospitals, and competitive environments like law firms,” says work health and safety consultant and former WHS lawyer Karen Maher.

“However, it can happen in any industry – and does.”

Bullying among adults can also occur socially, with manipulation and exclusion often the main strategies.

Loading

“This can include deliberately excluding someone from gatherings or conversations, spreading gossip to damage relationships, using passive-aggressive behaviour to isolate or control, public humiliation or “jokes” at someone’s expense and creating alliances to turn others against an individual,” says Ray.

If you’re experiencing bullying in a personal relationship or at work, what actions can you take?

In a social context, Brooks suggests setting boundaries and if possible, distancing yourself from the perpetrator. If that’s not possible (but only if it feels safe), calmly address the behaviour with the person, stating clearly that it’s unacceptable.

In the work setting, Maher says the way you respond to bullying will ultimately depend on the nature of the behaviour and how supportive your workplace is.

“Take a look at the workplace ‘speak up’ or reporting process if there is one. This should provide some information and guidance on what you can do and what support is available,” she says.

Wherever possible, speak to someone you trust for support, including family, friends, or trusted colleagues. If the organisation you work for has an employee assistance program, consider speaking with a counsellor or psychologist.

“If the situation continues, escalate it to HR or a manager,” says Maher.

If you do all of this and the bully doubles down, Ray says there are things you can do.

“Keep your communication transparent and as public as possible by cc’ing colleagues in emails to prevent misrepresentation,” Maher says. “Don’t engage emotionally, keep all communication professional.”

Brooks says strengthening your support system and prioritising self-care is a must.

“Prioritise activities you find enjoyable and focus on health-promoting behaviours including good nutrition, good sleep, lots of movement, and human connection.”

Sometimes, as in Sarah’s case, the best decision can be to leave.

“Although it wasn’t easy or fair, leaving was the best option for me and my wellbeing,” she says.

* Not her real name to protect her privacy

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.