Bridget Jones is dating a younger man. She’s not the only one

“We were friends for a year before dating. Because we knew each other so well, the age gap was barely a thought.”

However, Iye says she never would have considered dating younger a few years ago. But after seeing several friends date people their own age who failed to give them the love they craved, she realised age doesn’t need to be a deciding factor.

“People are focusing more on compatibility, emotional connection, and shared values now rather than societal expectations.”

Dating a younger man has brought more flexibility and open-mindedness to Iye’s love life, she says. Now, at least five of her friends are also in relationships with people between six and 10 years older or younger than them.

Why are age-gap romances becoming more common?

While there’s no set definition, Dr Simone Buzwell, a senior lecturer in psychology at Swinburne specialising in sexuality, says she considers a gap of seven or more years to constitute an age-gap romance.

“There have always been age-gap relationships,” she says. “But as Mad About the Boy highlights, it’s become more visible where the woman is older than the male partner. Women are now feeling more comfortable with their sexuality. They’re also more financially able, so that changes some of the power dynamics in relationships.”

Like Jones in Mad About the Boy, already having children could also remove the family-building pressure some women feel when dating. Nicole Colantoni, eHarmony’s relationship expert, says this allows them to pursue relationships based purely on compatibility and attraction.

“Likewise, more men are open to dating older women, as evolving gender roles and greater equality have shifted relationships away from financial dependency toward genuine connection,” she says.

More couples are recognising that age alone isn’t what determines relationship success, Colantoni says. In fact, an age gap may even offer some people room to grow or a different perspective on life.

“An older partner may offer wisdom, emotional maturity and stability, while a younger partner may bring fresh energy, curiosity, and a greater openness to spontaneity and adventure. Age doesn’t always determine readiness to settle down, which is why an age-gap relationship can sometimes be a better fit.”

Is there still stigma?

As women gained more financial independence, the search for an older, more established partner became less necessary, Colantoni says, leaving room for stigma to develop around age-gap relationships, especially those involving older men and younger women.

Stigma is gradually diminishing, but some couples may still notice a degree of judgement, says relationship expert Samantha Jayne.

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“People may assume the older person is going to control the younger person, or the younger person may be considered a ‘gold-digger’. The intentions are questioned.”

Research indicating that relationships with significant age gaps tend to deteriorate faster over time may also contribute to ongoing stigma and uncertainty, Jayne adds.

Iye says she hasn’t noticed much judgement since beginning her relationship. However, a fear of judgement can sometimes emerge. “The only time there’s been obstacles, it has been in my own head. Like attending large functions with old friends where the only ‘issue’ was that a late-’90s, almost 2000s, kid [Donnellan] doesn’t know how to dance to R&B.”

Things to consider

Buzwell says there are logistical factors to consider. For instance, a younger man may want children, but his older partner could have already gone through menopause.

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“The older partner may have significantly more financial assets than the other since they’ve been working for longer,” Buzwell says. “Or if one person is retired and the other’s working, that could impact how the relationship plays out.”

Then there are the realities of ageing. Not only do couples need to consider the high likelihood that one partner could die much earlier than the other, they must also consider disability and general health deterioration.

“The younger person may have to become a carer earlier than anticipated. Think about how that could impact your life and what you can do together in the future.”

However, any relationship requires similar considerations, Buzwell notes. The main difference is that age-gap couples may need to reckon with them sooner.

“The most important thing in dating is that you share core values and goals,” she says. “That’s irrespective of age.”

Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy will hit cinemas on February 13.

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