Ten signs you might be right in thinking that you’re getting old

We just need to smile, say “thank you very much, you are very kind” – and accept gracefully, she advises. “Never brush off the invitation, unless you don’t want to sit. In that case, always say, ‘thank you for your kind gesture’. Being courteous makes the other person feel valued – and makes us feel good too.”

You wear wall-to-wall black. After all, the only invitations you get are for funerals

There comes a time in life when wedding invitations dry up, the babies whose christenings you once attended have left home – and the number of funeral announcements is getting suspiciously larger.

So it’s no wonder most of us keep a top-to-bottom smart black outfit in the wardrobe.

But while some people can pull off head-to-toe black, most of us end up looking a bit dusty, says Lucinda Chambers, ex-Vogue fashion director and co-founder of Collagerie.com.

“When you reach a certain age, you feel more vulnerable, and there’s a definite nervousness that creeps in – you’re afraid of any display of individuality, extravagance or idiosyncrasy. Black is a very easy rut to fall into because you think it goes with everything. I never put black with black. I combine it with navy or cream to sharpen it up.”

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Author and broadcaster Hunter Davies, 89, is more definitive: “No one over 70 should wear black or grey. I only now wear clothes in pink, yellow, green, blue – usually at the same time.”

The doc tells you that mysterious pain ‘is just wear and tear’

It can feel like a death knell when you mention a new symptom to the GP and they bluntly say: “Yes, that’s just going to be how it is from now on”. But don’t believe them – it’s never too late to get in shape.

Our bodies are equipped with incredible restorative capacity. “The most health-preserving physical activity you can do is resistance training because muscle loss (sarcopenia) is both a characteristic and driver of ageing and age-related disease,” says Dr Nathan Curran of London’s Reborne Longevity Clinic.

“And skeletal muscle will not only help to prevent falls – it also protects your bones from osteoporosis, which can lead to fractures following a fall. About one in 10 people with a hip fracture die within a month – and about one in three die within a year.”

It’s also an insurance policy for slowing down neurodegeneration and dementia, he adds.

“There are very interesting links between loss of cerebral volume – especially in the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory – and sarcopenia [age-related loss of muscle mass, strength and function]. There isn’t a drug combination that comes remotely close to matching exercise for providing comprehensive benefits for brain health.”

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The mugshot on your 60+ bus pass is appalling but you’ve given up caring

Turning 60 is a milestone for many reasons – and while it’s useful to know you now qualify for subsidised travel, that fact alone is depressing enough. That’s before you even come to take the accompanying photo. Do try to look your best – but don’t take it too hard if the image ends up looking like a mugshot, advises Lucinda Chambers.

“You’re going to look at that photo for the next 20 years, so you might as well look cheerful. Having said that, mine looks like Prisoner: Cell Block H…”

Generally speaking, our experts say it’s important to glam up – and rail against the dying of the light.

PR expert Fiona Harrold says “it’s about self-worth. Because if you don’t care about how you look, how are other people going to respect you? You’re projecting an image of yourself to the world every time you step out the front door. Do you see yourself as attractive, groomed? Because your vibe will go down if you walk around constantly looking dishevelled. We automatically equate that with a loss of va-va-voom – or even depression.”

Veteran journalist Virginia Ironside agrees: “I know lots of people who say ‘I’m old – I can let myself go’. But that’s fatal. You must always be clean, have your hair looking nice, try to keep reasonably thin. Keep your standards up – eat at a table, change your sheets every couple of weeks.”

You ask for music to be turned down in a restaurant, or to have ‘real plates’

It’s very fogey-ish to complain about loud music, tiny sharing plates – or eating off a roof tile – says Jennifer Sharp, former restaurant editor of Harper’s Bazaar.

She loves eating solo and is a fan of the communal tables available for walk-ins. “I like all the well-priced small plates that let you trawl through the menu without breaking the bank.”

Regularity, she believes, is the enemy of life. “The easiest way to stay feeling young is to be curious. I never feel I know everything – whether it’s food or art or movies or politics. Stay open to new experiences and opinions. Say yes to things.”

Out with a 26-year-old colleague, you’re mortified to be mistaken for their grandmother

It’s mortifying enough to eavesdrop on the conversations your younger colleagues are having – but to be mistaken for one of their grandparents when you’ve popped out together is even worse.

But there’s no shame in being called out for your age, says poet and author Sarah-Jane Lovett. We should revel in the fact that being a modern grandmother or grandfather is something to celebrate.

Lovett, a grandmother of two who is now writing a book called The Glamma Diaries, insists: “We are gods and goddesses of sorts, the elders who bring insight and wisdom to bestow upon the youngers. The trick is to create a force field of magic, underpinned with a firm but kind air of grooviness. Obviously, no one wants to get cancelled for doing the wrong thing – but grandmothers are brilliant at spotting diplomatic minefields and circumnavigating them with aplomb.”

You cut your own hair – without even looking in a mirror

The decision to go grey or not is unimportant (just look at super-agers Helen Mirren and Andie MacDowell). But a sharp cut can take off decades – so keep investing in that hairdresser’s appointment.

“I firmly believe women can embrace new styles at any age,” says celebrity hair stylist Dar Barot. “It’s about taking that first step and being open to transformation. When hair obscures your face, it can hide features such as well-shaped eyebrows, beautiful eyes, defined cheekbones, a strong jawline – and especially the neckline and shoulders, which are crucial for creating a youthful appearance. A sculpted haircut that frames your face should emphasise these features, while complementing your body shape.”

And men shouldn’t be complacent either – shaggy eyebrows, unkempt nose hair and a bad comb-over are turn-offs. “My own bugbear is the fade haircut – shortening the hair on the sides and back of the head, with longer hair on top – for older men,” Barot says. “It resembles a hat rather than enhancing their features. It was also Hitler’s favourite hairstyle, so be warned.”

Your adult children don’t trust you around their precious children

You might have raised them – but when your own kids have babies, it can lead to some awkward moments when it becomes clear they’re unwilling to trust their precious bundle with you.

“When your beloved offspring and their partner tell you the new thinking on pregnancy, childbirth or child-rearing that they’ve gleaned in their ante-natal group or from Instagram, listen, keep quiet and do not express an opinion,” Lovett says. “If they wax lyrical about placenta encapsulation, don’t use the word ‘ridiculous’ or the phrase ‘we didn’t do that in my day’. Just swallow and say, ‘That sounds great’.

“No one wants to hear about the dark ages – i.e. before 1990 – and no one ever acknowledges that you’ve gone through this experience yourself. Understand that while you, until fairly recently, reigned supreme in your family, you are, in one blow, felled. So hold on to the life skills you have acquired and use them with steely dignity – empathy, listening well, cooking for everyone. Modern, shiny parents are there to make us look as if we didn’t have the foggiest idea of what we were doing.”

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You watch rolling news 24/7 and rail against the injustices of modern life

OK, so there’s an entire sitcom – One Foot in the Grave – dedicated to the phenomenon of men getting grumpier as they age. But while Victor Meldrew might have been a bit of an old curmudgeon, he definitely tried to keep himself busy when he wasn’t shouting at the TV.

“When you’re passively sitting in front of the television, not much is going on in there,” says Professor Kieran Clarke, 73, emeritus professor of physiological biochemistry at the University of Oxford.

“Concentrating is really good for your brain,” she says. “Puzzles keep the connections up and the electrics going. You’re concentrating all the time, and the synaptic connections between neurones are functioning properly.”

You’re lonely but would rather hang over a crocodile pit than use dating apps

Probably the hardest challenge of old age is finding a new partner if you’ve been struck by death or divorce. The temptation is to shut up shop to new admirers – but that would be ignoring the fact there’s a very buzzy later-life dating scene out there.

“Dating is all about the mindset. If you’re open to new experiences and meeting others, and you’re easy to approach, you’ll naturally attract the right kind of attention,” says Niloufar Lamakan, 66, whose new novel Aged to Perfection tackles 60+ dating using apps, as well as other, more adventurous ways of meeting potential new partners.

“Being advised to find a hobby might sound like a cliche, but it’s a great way to do something you enjoy and increase your chances of meeting someone. However, if you’re happy being single, make the most of the freedom and find your own tribe to enjoy life alongside.”

The Telegraph, London

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