Happy New Year! How was the hangover? Brutal as usual? Sorry about that. So, about now you are probably still trying to live up to those resolutions you made when the clock struck midnight on December 31.
One may have been to give up and/or slow down on your drinking. Me? Iβm not going to even bother contemplating such a feat. Sobriety, like New Yearβs resolutions, is of no interest to me. The idea of going without a chilled flute of champagne in celebration of, well, anything really is simply intolerable to my delicate sensibilities. Cheese without a robust red? Not on my watch. A cold beer on a hot day? Yes please. I reckon abstinence be damned. Lifeβs too bloody short.
You see, this isnβt my first new year. Iβve circled the sun so many times now, Iβm dizzy. And, unlike so many other Januarys past, when Iβve set goals to improve myself, these days I donβt even bother. No point. I know who I am. And Iβm OK with me.
So, let me share with you the list of resolutions I will not be keeping this year, or any following. Judge me all you want, I can assure you I wonβt give a flying what you think. I decided not to bother with other peopleβs opinions years ago, a resolution thatβs stuck.
Losing weight
Damn, how many times have I vowed to drop kilos after the Christmas festive period? Too many. How many times did I do it? The answer is never. But here is what I have done, Iβve stayed the same, normal-range weight for the past 20-odd years and not buggered up my metabolism with yo-yo dieting, fasting, intermittent meals, calorie cutting and starvation. Iβm not slim, but Iβm also not fat. Iβm the shape Iβm meant to be. So, you can keep your scales, pinch tests, tape measures and fear of food. If I get run over by a bus tomorrow, I want crumbs on my blouse, cheese in my teeth and a pinot noir stain on my lips. At least my loved ones will know I died happy.
Getting fit
This is a noble goal if you have health issues and I applaud you if you succeed. But my attitude to exercise is that it shouldnβt be an effort. I walk my dog, I swim, I take stairs instead of lifts. I donβt need a buff bozo bullying me to lift, strain and struggle. I just need my doctor to tell me Iβm OK, and he does, regularly. Should that change, Iβll do something about it.
Looking younger
How ridiculous is it that as we age, we want to turn back time? I get the pressure; itβs impossible to avoid. I see celebrities looking younger than their children. But at what cost? All that pulling, lifting, freezing and plumping takes a toll physically, mentally and fiscally that, to my mind, is way too high. Then thereβs the other price to pay for a youthful visage, and that is movement, expression and, well, normalcy. Itβs one thing to look fresh, another to look frightening. I have never seen someone with lots of work done who looks, well, natural. Eternal youth is a Faustian pact I am not interested in making.
Saving money
As I write this column, I am reclining on a hammock under a palm tree on a tropical island. I kid you not. Can I afford to be here? Hell no. But here are my thoughts on the matter: I have probably only 10 to 15 years left when Iβll be physically able to enjoy the pleasure of travel. Iβve worked my entire life to try to get ahead financially and have concluded itβs a race Iβll never win. I have no kids to leave anything to, so in my mind it makes sense to spend what I have. Iβll get by; it just wonβt be in a paid-off palace.
Getting angry
I know I regularly blow a gasket over what is happening in the world but, dammit, so I should! Itβs madness out there and people are suffering. I know others take the tack to look away but I canβt and wonβt. Iβll stop caring when I stop breathing.
So, you do you this year. If you feel you need to change, knock yourself out. Me, Iβll be keeping my resolution to stay the same: grateful, genuine and, most of all, content.
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