Bryce Courtenay’s son Adam Courtenay’s new book discusses his father’s complicated life

My parents divorced in 1999. They’d been married for 39 years. I was living in London at the time and after the divorce, Mum bought a flat in Belgravia, where she based herself for up to six months of each year. I’d grown closer to Mum after my brother, Damon, who had haemophilia, died in 1991 from medically acquired HIV-AIDS.

When I moved back to Sydney in 2003, Mum was living in Bellevue Hill. She’d been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so I bought a flat nearby. She was later diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and died in 2007. She was a one-off – my smart and beautiful mum.

I was an anxious teenager and very unsure of myself. My first celebrity crush was Kate Bush. When I saw the video for Wuthering Heights, I’d never seen anything so wild, brilliant and carefree.

My first significant relationship happened when I was 20. I was in Paris, busking on the streets, and I met this Brazilian girl in a hotel. She was extremely funny – I have always been attracted to women who can make you laugh in the gut. She was affectionate, easygoing and didn’t give a damn about anything. Our relationship lasted three months as she needed to travel the world.

I met Ada while living in London. She was Italian and beautiful and an archaeologist. In 1998, I travelled to Italy with her. She took me to archeological digs and would explain history in the layers upon which something was built. She moved to London but hated it. We got along well, but it just fizzled out.

When I returned to Sydney, I was at a bit of a crossroads. I found a job as a sub-editor at The Australian Financial Review and worked my way up. I met my wife, Gina, through a distant friend. There was just a perfect synchronicity between us. There were never misunderstandings. There was comfortableness with Gina I’d never had with any other woman.

The lesson I took from my parents’ marriage into my own is honesty, truth and faithfulness. Be upfront and honest about everything. If you feel a certain way, express it. It makes adapting and changing in marriage much easier if you know exactly what the other person is thinking.

Adam Courtenay will be in conversation in Geelong on August 5 and Melbourne on August 6. My Father Bryce (Hachette Australia) is out now.

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