Men are wishing their friends ‘goodnight’ on TikTok. It’s more than a cute trend

Dr Zac Seidler, a clinical psychologist and Movember’s director of young men’s health research, says the trend is a safe way for men to express their vulnerability.

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“It’s really important, from a contextual standpoint, to realise vulnerability is a very shameful experience for lots of guys, the notion of intimacy has been so linked with homophobia over the years,” he says.

“The fear of rejection, of seeming needy, of putting your hand up and saying ‘I love you man, I want to connect’, all that stuff is so frightening for some guys.

“For some, they’d rather lean into that isolationism, which eventually causes serious harm for them.”

Psychiatrist and Lifeline chair Steve Moylan, recently told this masthead their service call volumes show far fewer men than women feel able to reach out for help.

Of 4000 calls a day, just over one-third are from men, despite men being over-represented in suicide rates.

A 2024 Movember study surveyed 3,048 young men online, aged 16-25 across Australia, the United States and the United Kingdom and found 13 per cent of respondents did not have any close friends.

Seidler wants to see more supportive spaces for men to connect and maintain platonic friendships.

“This trend on TikTok is funny, but it’s also tapping into a need,” he says.

“And we should find ways to create more opportunities for connection, create more places online and offline, for young guys to actually meet with each other and to talk.”

If you or someone you know needs support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. In the event of an emergency dial triple zero (000). Support is also available from MensLine on 1300 78 99 78.

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