more older women choosing ‘Golden Girls’- style share arrangements

Three weeks later, I moved 500 kilometres from Sydney to a house on a 10-hectare property. The rent was cheap and the property itself was very peaceful and quiet.

The house has separate and shared areas – I have my own room and living space – and over the past couple of months, Cass and I have got to know each other well. We talk about politics, we cook together, and we respect each other. She has her ways, and I have mine, but we’ve clicked. She says, ‘We are a family, this is it.’

We’ve started gardening together; we’re growing capsicum and cabbages. We take the dogs for a walk most nights around the paddocks.

The deal when I moved down was that I’d cook for myself, but that has gone by the wayside; we share the cooking. Cassie cooks things I’ve never had before, such as seafood soup – it is to die for. And she loves my quiche.

I have my privacy; she has her privacy. We have our own separate time at night, but she will often come in around 9pm and ask if I’d like a snack, usually ice-cream or chocolate. I’m loving it. Whenever I visit Sydney I think, I can’t wait to get home.”

‘We are just ourselves always’: Leanne Staggard, 62

“I’ve known Julie for 55 years; we met in primary school in year 3, and she’s been my best friend ever since. I moved in with her in 2024 after separating from my husband about 20 months ago.

After my husband and I split, I was paying the mortgage on my home and working long hours to meet the payments, so I decided to lease my home out. I was struggling to find somewhere to live that wasn’t too horrible or too expensive, so I asked Julie if I could stay with her for a few months at her place in Warranwood in suburban Melbourne. And here we are, eight months later.

I have the downstairs bedroom and ensuite, and she has upstairs with her own bathroom and office. We both still work full-time, and I have different days off from Julie, but we always try to have Sunday dinner together, often a roast that Julie cooks. She even pours me a glass of wine, which I appreciate because she doesn’t drink.

It has been great company when I come home after work, and we can just bounce off each other and have a laugh or just talk about our lives and kids and work. It’s never a five-minute conversation; it’s a few hours!

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When we are home and the TV is on, we end up watching something that Julie has taped, or we watch Survivor, a baking show, or sometimes she will let me watch Married at First Sight. Julie doesn’t like it but she indulges my junk-but-fun TV viewing.

Living together has helped me with loneliness. And to be honest, I think Julie has enjoyed it, too; she has been there to support me through my separation. She is having surgery soon, so I am going to be her nurse while she recovers.

I could see Julie and I living together when we are old. She has been an amazing friend; we are just ourselves always.”

‘I can call on someone if I need’: Jo Towler, 79

“Having been separated from my husband for several years, I downsized from the family home to a townhouse. When I retired in 2014, I discovered an inner-Melbourne co-housing group, Urban Coup. I have been living in my apartment there since 2022.

The appeal of co-housing was community, and I knew when I was in my townhouse that I would need to eventually move as it had a lot of stairs. I am completely independent in my apartment, but the whole community shares spaces such as the laundry, a common dining room, a kitchen and guest rooms. The residents range in age, from older people to younger families.

Many of us older women here have become friends. There is another woman with whom I share a similar British origin. We have a lot in common from our previous lives in the UK; we share some culture and lots of laughs.

There are several other women here whom I would describe as kindred spirits. Some of us older and middle-aged women talk gardens and plants. I’m a kind of leader of the garden working group. We share thoughts and work on community activities.

A couple of times a week our community has shared meals. We have a craft group on a Sunday morning where some of us bring whatever we are mending or making. I will hopefully be here forever.

I’m at that stage of my life where my physical abilities are reducing, and I absolutely dread the thought of aged care. Recently, I had a hip replacement. Since being in hospital and now, people have helped me with food and shopping. I try to be independent, but I know I can call on someone if I need.”

‘We were fortunate to have each other’: Sarah Yeomans, 76

“In 2015, as a pensioner with a mortgage, I was looking for a sharer. A mutual friend brokered a meeting with Fionnuala, who had recently returned from Ireland, started a job locally and wanted to live nearby. After initial meetings, we decided it could work.

The house, in Melbourne’s Preston, is a large, 1950 weatherboard three-bedder with a big 1970s single-room extension, including a second bathroom. In 2017, I added a kitchenette to my part and prepared it for my old age.

There’s a single door between us, meaning we can interact anywhere from never to lots. As we’ve become friends, that joining door has swung open more often for venting, advice, sharing and gas-bagging. The deal is only that you knock first.

We have a cat, Axl, with an agreement to co-parent. Axl will sleep with whoever feeds him, but the microchip says he’s mine.

I am lazy about cooking. Fionnuala, who is now 61, cooks all the time as a hobby. We probably eat dinner together three nights a week. We swap information on events like festivals and films, and occasionally I’ll join Fionnuala and her partner at something. We each have our own TV, but Fisk bingeing is in my part of the house.

During lockdown, we were fortunate to have each other. We learnt to play some music badly and motivated each other to walk and exercise. We made up care packages and had kerbside cuppas.

Recently, I’ve experienced the loneliness of friends dying, becoming incapacitated or moving to the country. House-sharing is a real answer, including co-operative buying, and co-housing groups. I recommend women team up when they’re younger rather than older. Ours must be working; it’s been 10 years now.”

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