Parent-teacher interviews have changed. Here’s how to navigate them well

“You might ask how your child’s going with their schoolwork, how they’re getting along with others, what they’re doing well, and where they might need a bit more help,” says Elizabeth Shaw, a psychologist and CEO of Relationships Australia. “Remember, this is a two-way conversation, and teachers value your insights too. If you have something positive to say about the subject or your child’s experience of it, sharing that is also valuable. Teachers are human too!”

If your child is going to be present at the conference, it’s a good idea to check in with them beforehand. “Your child might be nervous about bringing their two worlds together, and how they might be judged. Be reassuring and prepare for the unexpected,” advises Shaw. “If your child is old enough, you can also ask them if there’s anything they’d like you to bring up.”

Time to talk

Kylie Youkhana, the K-2 assistant principal at Gulyangarri Public School, says three-way conferences that include children can actually strengthen the outcome, showing the student that their voice is important in their education. The key is making sure the discussion does actually include them and not go over their heads.

“Often children don’t know how to engage in these sorts of conversations, and so it’s modelling how to have a reciprocal conversation with another person,” says Youkhana.

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“Try to stay supportive and engaged, while giving your child room to speak for themselves,” says Shaw. “If an unexpected issue comes up during the interview and your child is there, you can simply acknowledge that it’s something to explore further at another time, without going into detail in front of them.”

In fact, since these conferences are typically the “speed dating” of parent-teacher communication — a brief discussion amongst many in a crowded room — it can be best to set up another time to discuss sensitive matters, regardless of whether your child is present or not. And if something comes up that needs addressing directly with your child, try to take a beat before reacting.

“Even if you are taken aback or are disappointed in what you have heard, try to pause,” suggests Shaw. “Ask your child how they see the situation and listen openly to their response. If further action is needed, involve your child in the plan where appropriate, so they feel supported rather than blamed.”

“At the end of an interview, we always want that feeling that everyone’s informed, connected and confident about where to go next,” says Youkhana. “That’s really the outcome at the end that we’re hoping for.”

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