tips for having a great life after the children leave home

After her ex-husband died, author and time-management specialist Kate Christie was moved by this sudden loss to write The Life List. The idea? Do what you want to do now. Do not wait.

To that end, Christie – who once meshed three kids under four with a corporate law career – has been intentional in creating a “fantastic” empty-nesting life. She’s just ditched Melbourne suburbia for a two-bedroom city apartment attached to a hotel. Think concierge, garden, gym, room service.

Last year Christie, 55, spent seven weeks in Bali, working remotely and learning to surf. Earlier in 2025, she bought a 100-year-old Sicilian palazzo with her partner, to restore and live in during European summers.

“I gave my kids a long runway. From the minute my youngest started his final school exams I said, ‘this next chapter is my turn’,” she says. “I was forward-thinking about what world I wanted to create for me when I wasn’t the centre of my kids’ world.”

Identifying as part of a generation Forbes calls “super consumers” – the most educated, healthy, wealthy cohort of midlife women ever – Christie now focuses on three key resources: her time, energy and money.

“I’m investing them in people and experiences I love,” she says. “At some point my dad’s health will deteriorate and my kids will have kids, and I’ll want to be around for that. I see this window as a sliver of time and I need to maximise it.”

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Also in Melbourne, marketing consultant and speaker Katrina McCarter is experiencing her own empty-nesting transformation. Her kids, aged 18, 20 and 22, are gradually spreading their wings, and she’s been doing “conscious empty nesting” prep for a couple of years.

“I got super clear on what I value, what I want as I live my empty-nesting years on my terms,” says McCarter. “I’m excited about the opportunity to explore and discover new things, places – to discover me. I’m looking for more action and adventure.”

Currently renting after her divorce, she’s assembled a health team, financial planner and wealth adviser (“I’ll need money to travel”), bought an inner-city investment property and stockpiles frequent flyer points.

“What I’m most looking forward to is fewer daily responsibilities, less compromise, more choice, time to focus on relationships and redefining my role with my almost independent children,” says McCarter, 54.

What’s surprised her the most? “The time I’m starting to get back and the impact it’s having on my career. I’ve been able to take on more work across Australia and overseas. My job is flourishing – in my 50s.”

Righto. Here’s what I’m hearing is the empty-nest liberation formula: do it consciously. Set your non-negotiables. Focus on what you can have now, not what you’ve lost.

“I just feel really calm and content,” says Christie. “I feel well-loved and that the hard work has paid off.” Adds McCarter, “I’m feeling more empowered than at any time in my life.”

Maybe my tears over those name tags weren’t really about grief. The children leave and the responsibilities shift, but they don’t disappear. What changes is the daily intensity, the constant vigilance, the endless small decisions.

And what emerges is space – space to remember who you were before you became someone’s mum. And space to discover who you might become next.

Maybe the tears were about realising I’d been so focused on an ending that I’d missed a beginning.

Boogie Wonderland (Affirm Press) by Kate Halfpenny is out now.

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