What to do when your child plays detective to unmask Santa

It’s getting to that delicate time of year when theories abound as to whether Santa has a secret identity, like Superman or Wonder Woman.

Two young girls I know once devised a plan to test Santa’s credentials. They would write to him independently and ask him to respond. When he did so, they would compare his handwriting. If the script differed, they would know he was a fake. If it was the same writing, he was real. The plan was derailed somehow, perhaps due to the distractibility of children whereby a plan can be hatched but its execution forgotten or perhaps Santa’s associates created a diversion. Either way, Santa’s reputation remained intact.

He is not the only big personality susceptible to testing. The tooth fairy was not above suspicion. When a dislodged tooth necessitated a visit by the tooth fairy in the middle of the night, I have it on good authority that she discovered the pearly prize held fast in the clenched fist of a then little girl. Despite two dollars for a baby tooth being more than reasonable market value, I understand the tooth fairy persisted, making more than one flyby until the hand unfurled in sleep, the tooth could be retrieved and a shiny coin left in its place.

Outrageous direct accusations of a parent “being Santa”, a common childhood suspicion, may be defused by answering a question with a question. Child: “Are you Santa?” Parent: “Do I look like Santa?” Or, in response to the same question: Parent: “Do I have a white beard, like Santa?” Most of the time, children can see that the parent does not have this or that attribute of Santa and draw their own conclusions. If you do have a white beard and a tendency to wear a red jacket and matching pants, you’re on your own.

If a child persists, some statements are useful in focusing attention on the risks associated with this line of questioning. For example: “You know what they say: if you don’t believe you don’t receive.” It’s a comment that prompts a risk/benefit assessment by the child of just how important the information is and what consequences may flow from answers given.

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The magic of Christmas is precious. So much in the world might be grim or sad but Christmas is an oasis of colour and good cheer, of carols and family time. Let the sparkle on the Christmas trees spread joy and the magic endure for as long as possible. Let children hurry to sleep on Christmas Eve and dream of reindeer alighting on rooftops, and awaken wondering if they are hearing the tinkling of sleigh bells as Santa rides away. Perhaps children will stretch out a toe to prod a pillowcase left at the end of the bed, now heavy with gifts, or will rush downstairs to see stockings that were hung up empty by the fireplace now full of little presents, and know something mysterious happened while they were slept. Cherish that magic.

Once, my husband, through his connections, was able to obtain from Santa personalised messages for our children and me from the North Pole, which Santa, being tech-savvy, thoughtfully sent us via email. Santa recited our family’s recent activities and had a photo of each of us, which he displayed. He informed us whether we were on the naughty or good list. Fortunately, all the children made it to the good list. Sadly, Santa, or one of his mischievous helpers, thought it would be funny if Mum was put on the naughty list, a slight on my character about which I remain indignant.

There will be a time to induct children into the deeper secrets of Santa and to reveal the exact nature of his association with his helpers. Only you, the parent, will know when the time is right for a talk about such secret matters.

Until then, let the sight of Santa striding through a department store, or sitting beside wrapped presents ready to pose for photos, send that traditional mix of wariness and excitement tingling down your child’s spine, as it has for generations past. Like so many things in life, it will all make sense looking back some years from now.

Melissa Coburn is a freelance writer.