Dr Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist and an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society, says: βSome people see anxiety and stress as synonymous, but stress doesnβt exist in the DSM (the diagnostic book of psychiatric disorders) and anxiety does.
βStress is an actual demand on your brain or body, and happens when a person is pushed beyond their usual functioning. Some stress can be healthy. Anxiety, on the other hand, is just a feeling.β
Psychotherapists believe we can learn to moderate our anxiety, to defuse it or learn to live with it.
But where has all this βanxietyβ come from? Were we talking to our friends and family about βanxietyβ when we were young adults ourselves in the 20th century. Surely not.
βEveryone is talking about their feelings a lot more, so there is an argument that weβre just being more open about what has always been,β Blair says. On the other hand, Blair believes, βnormalβ feelings are now being medicalised rather too easily.
βYoung people are often looking for a diagnosis or a label,β she says. βSo many of my clients say to me: βIf only I knew I had ADHD or autismβ. This might be useful if the child is young and they are failing at school, and a diagnosis will get them extra practical help. But itβs not the answer. A label does not tell a young person how to cope.β
Mobile phones and social media
Haidtβs 2024 book blames the rise in anxiety on what he terms the βgreat rewiring of childhoodβ, particularly because of mobile phones and social media.
βThe loss of free play and the rise of continual adult supervision deprived children of the chance to explore, test and expand their limits, build close friendships through shared adventure, and learn how to judge risks for themselves,β he says.
βAfter the rise of the phone-based childhood, few parents had the knowledge to protect their children from tech companies that had designed their products to be addictive.β
Blair believes the modern stress in young people βcomes from an overload of information about which we can do nothing. Young people see that the world is burning up and flooding; there are wars,β she says. βThey know about it much more because of their phones and social media. Their brains get full and they donβt have the bandwidth to deal with it.β
Most experts agree that social media is particularly culpable. βItβs a one-way communication and far less healthy than face-to-face encounters,β says Blair.
The pandemic and modern life
Those days of PCR tests and standing 1.5 metres apart away may already feel like ancient history to us but they have left a mark on our children.
βIf you are 20 now, that Covid period was a 10th of your life,β Blair says. βChildren missed an important part of their adolescence, that period where you are searching for identity and asking who do I belong with? How am I unique?
βIn their late teens, young people were deprived of that self-comparison that tells you βam I normal?β,β she says. βNo wonder they are suffering.β
We are over-parenting
βFigures from the [UK] Office of National Statistics tell us that 40 per cent of parents are now only having one child. By 2030, this will be 50 per cent,β Blair says.
βIf we have fewer βgoodsβ to take care of for our legacy, we will invest more in each one and put too much on them,β she says. βSometimes, parents misunderstand what βcareβ is. Care is to make yourself redundant at the age of 18.β
How do we build resilience in our children?
1. Find creative ways to talk
2. Empower them rather than βhelpβ them
3. Ask your child to break down the feeling
4. Use the βbest friend testβ
5. Encourage perspective
6. Help your children take care of themselves
7. Sometimes, just listening is enough
Telegraph UK