A good coffee at your favourite cafe or a peaceful, delicious dinner that you didnβt have to make yourself might not be necessities in life, but they sure can be a balm for the soul. And if youβre a parent of young kids, you need all the soul-balm you can get.
But eating out when you have small children can involve a level of fortitude that can feel like more effort than itβs worth. In such situations, itβs hard not to be tempted to resort to the one tool we are told over and over again not to use: screen time.
We all know what the recommendations on screen time are for kids: minimal is best, none is better, and they should definitely be avoided around meals. Thatβs because mealtimes are βan opportunity for communicationβ, explains Dr Kimberly OβBrien, an educational and developmental psychologist. Plus, βif youβre distracting young people from meals, then theyβre not really understanding things like nutrition, different textures, and balanced mealsβ.
For most, dining out is not an everyday occurrence β so surely, a little screen time is OK, right? OβBrien says itβs not a great solution for anyone, including parents.
Susannah McCaughan and her friend, Ruby Davies-Nelson, with daughter Bonnie at Cafe Jackβs in Kensington, Sydney. They keep their children entertained while dining out with a range of activities, including screens. Credit: Dylan Coker
βItβs a missed opportunity for socialising and for understanding social norms in a restaurant,β she warns. βEven if itβs just eye contact and smiles, thatβs something thatβs socially appropriate and should be encouraged in young people, rather than using screens in restaurants.β
The thing is, getting kids to be civilised in public is much easier said than done β to the point that some parents avoid going out to eat with their kids.
βEven if your kids are sitting quietly and doing an activity, youβre still not really able to relax or mingle, youβre always in parent mode, tending to their needs,β says Ruby Davies-Nelson, a mum to three kids aged six, three, and 18 months. She says when she wants to go to a cafe or restaurant, rather than dining in, she tends to get takeaway and sit outside.
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βItβs much more enjoyable for me, and I donβt have to worry if the kids are noisy or up and down from their seats.β