Powder-white sand, turquoise waters and 35 degrees. An esky filled with beer, screaming kids playing cricket, exposed skin (as much of it beetroot as nutty brown) as far as the eye can see.
For most Australians, the above scenario is summer personified. For me, it conjures memories of horrible sunburn, sand in my mouth, freezing water (thanks, Victoria) and long afternoons of unbearable heat.
Sunbaking at Melbourneโs St Kilda Beach is an Australian pastime. Credit: Joe Armao
Donโt get me wrong โ I love the water. So much so that swimming is my preferred form of exercise. The difference is, my hobby takes place in a climate-controlled pool where there are usually no surprises loitering at the bottom waiting to bite you, and, perhaps most importantly, where there is no sand, or sun ready to sear me to a crisp.
The irony of hating the beach is that I live in St Kilda, one of Australiaโs most iconic beach suburbs. Yet, the last time I swam in the bay was in 2020, during lockdown. Faced with swimming in the freezing, slimy, grey-green water in the middle of winter or not exercising at all, I chose the outdoor option.
The endorphins I got from these swims (sometimes in bathers, other times in a wetsuit if I wanted to stay longer than five minutes) were so intense they kept me going back for months. But as soon as we were released from lockdown, which coincided with summer, I stopped. The beach was no longer my saviour, but once again the site of endless UV exposure and scratchy, dirty sand.
Iโm going to go out on a limb and guess that Iโm not the only person who feels this way and that there are a few others who call Bondi or Manly home and feel the same way but donโt admit as much in polite company.
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The beach is a crucial part of our national identity, both inescapable and a character in its own right. With 85 per cent of us living within an hourโs drive of one of 11,000 beaches, itโs no wonder the beach is stitched into the national psyche.
Itโs where childhood memories are made, teenage dramas unfold and retirees find solace. Itโs celebrated in everything from Tim Winton novels to tourism ads, and the subject of recent fierce national debate thanks to cabanas. To foreigners, it is a place where the sand is always golden, the waves inviting, the ice cream plentiful and the people, well โฆ not exactly representative of the whole of Australia.
