The ten questions I’m always asked in my happier, sober life

Five years ago, I did Dry July. A well-intentioned month off grog. And here I am, still going. Still not drinking.

It wasn’t the plan to put down my wine glass for good, but life had other ideas. My mother passed away, I hit a few health bumps, and somewhere in the quiet of it all I realised that booze was taking more than it was giving. So I stopped.

Since then, I’ve written about life on the other side of the bottle, and if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that when you respond to a friendly “wine?” with a polite “no thanks, I don’t drink”, people have questions. Lots of them. So here are the ones I get asked the most, and how I answer them.

Why? (Usually asked with either a look of horror or concern – or both)

I get it. People are curious, and maybe they want to know if I had a problem. The truth is, you don’t have to hit rock bottom to decide alcohol isn’t working for you. I just got tired of feeling tired most of the time. Three months into sobriety, I felt sharper, calmer and clearer. It was like my life shifted from black-and-white to high-definition colour.

Was it difficult to give up?

At the start, definitely. Looking back, I’d say that the first five days were harder than the last five years. There’s no denying it’s awkward the first time you’re at a dinner party without a glass of wine in hand, or you’re hitting the dance floor stone-cold sober at a 50th. But soon it feels normal. Then, it feels great. And eventually, it feels amazing.

How do you relax?

I used to think a glass of wine was the “off switch” to stress, but it was just postponing those strung-out feelings. It never fixed them. Now I relax differently. It’s not all yoga, meditation and breath work. I walk the dog, I light a candle. I lie on the couch and eat overpriced ice-cream. I go to bed early. Weirdly, it works.