My service dog has given me my life back. Distracting him can take that away

This First Person is the experience of Rachel Lyons, who lives in Ottawa with her service dog, Geneva. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

Every time I enter the grocery store, I’m hit with bright lights, crowded aisles and a sense of urgency to get out of the overstimulating environment as fast as possible. It’s a challenging place for me because of my disabilities, which cause symptoms including panic attacks and dizziness.

I always bring my service dog, Geneva, with me, and he often wears his mobility harness labelled with “service dog” and “do not distract.” Knowing he’s there helps me to relax while I search for what’s on my list.

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Often, people will approach us and want to pet him. Usually I’ll politely respond, “Please don’t pet him. He’s working,” and continue to shop, my noise cancelling-headphones playing music and making the world a little easier to navigate.

But it doesn’t always go well.

Last year at a grocery store, I had asked a stranger not to pet him and moved on. But when I stood up after bending down to grab an item, I was startled to find the same stranger right behind me, looking furious.

Confused, I removed my headphones. With an angry tone, she said I’d been disrespectful and “had no right to treat a dog lover” that way. 

Being cornered in a grocery store aisle by an angry stranger felt terrifying. I repeated “goodbye” and “walk away” until she left me alone.

When she eventually walked away, I realized I was shaking. My legs were weak and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I found a quiet corner and sat on the floor with Geneva while he laid across my lap to help me through a panic attack — one of the things he’s trained to ease the symptoms of by applying pressure to my body and calming my nervous system. 

It took 30 minutes before I felt steady enough to stand, and for the rest of the trip I was scared to run into the woman again. 

Not all interactions with strangers are horrible. In fact, after the stranger yelled at me, an employee came by and offered me a water bottle. 

I wish people could understand Geneva is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. In the four years since I got him, he’s given me my life back.

I used to be terrified of leaving the house and could never let myself relax in public. I remember the first time I finally felt safe in a crowded space. The immense happiness I felt was overwhelming. He’s allowed me to be truly independent.

But negative interactions can make navigating a stressful world even more stressful.

When people try to distract Geneva or yell at me, it hurts more than my feelings. It can send me into a panic attack, like the interaction with the woman at the grocery store. Or he may move unexpectedly, leading to falls for me or for him. Repeated distractions could compromise Geneva’s training, and make it difficult for him to do the crucial tasks that help me live my life independently.

How to behave around a service dog

I believe most people mean well. But it can be frustrating when people try to pet my service dog and try to distract him after I ask them not to, or talk to him in a baby voice. It can be intimidating when I don’t know how someone will react to being told no.

When someone disrespects the boundary I set, it makes me feel helpless. It feels like saying hi to a dog is more important than my wellbeing. I’m fortunate that in a tense situation I am still able to advocate for myself, but not all people with service dogs are.

If you see a service dog in public, please ignore them. In my experience, it’s best to admire a working dog from afar or compliment the handler directly instead of the dog.

I promise that I tell Geneva that he is a good boy all day, every day.

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